You may find it hard to believe, but I am kind of a horrible brother. I know, your world is shattered, and you're officially going to stop following me now.
I have a sister who is three years and couple months younger than me. We get along pretty well for siblings. When we were kids that wasn't always the case, but as we got older we grew closer. Which was good because we went to O'Neill Public High School 20-30 miles away from our house. It was a long drive to start the day off, but it gave us to chance to listen to Five Iron Frenzy, MxPx, Slick Shoes, and Dogwood on the way to school (I know that some of you have never heard of those bands and that's ok). Those were some of the best drives of my life honestly. I loved driving my sister to and from school, church, and youth group. It was a chance to listen to music, talk, and laugh together. And for the longest time that's the only way I remembered it. That is, until my sister filled me in on a different reality.
My sister and I didn't stay close for a while. I moved to Phoenix, and fell off the face of the planet. I'm horrible at making calls home. I'm the guy that comedians make, "How come you never call your mother?" bits about. Almost three years ago, my wife and I moved back to Nebraska, and thankfully my sister lives in the same city. We hang out every once and a while, and it's super fun. It's nice to be able to play The New Super Mario Brothers Wii with someone other than just me and Jan!
We were having a cookout at my sister's house one day. I don't even know how but the conversation turned to high school times, but it did. What follows is the conversation as best I can remember it:
Me: Ah! Those were good times! Remember the Century (our '93 Buick Century)?
Rose: Yeah! It was a good car. Remember all those times you forgot to take me home from school?
Me: What?!
Rose: Yeah, you'd be talking to friends or something after One-Acts or Track or Cross Country and just leave. I'd watch you pull out of the parking lot from the student lounge, and then have to call mom to come and get me. (This was before the world domination of cell phones)
Honestly, interwebz, I couldn't remember a single conversation about me forgetting my sister 20 miles from home. I'm ashamed to think that this happened, and even worse to think that I can't even remember the conversations my exasperated mother must have had with me. I still apologize to my sister every time I think about that exchange.
We all have family hang ups. There's that weird cousin, or the crazy uncle who collects Elvis ashtrays and puts on concerts with the weird cousin. But it's particularly hard on us when the offenses of childhood, and even adulthood, are perpetrated by those who we spent all our life with. Unless you're putting up a massive mental block, you probably don't remember a part of your childhood that didn't involve parents, care givers, or siblings. I think that's why Joseph's story of forgiveness is so amazing.
We all have negative stories to tell about our siblings, but I hope none of yours have tried to sell you into slavery and then create an elaborate murder story to cover it up. The tough part is that all the stuff Joseph suffered (and ultimately the blessings also) wouldn't have happened had they put their jealousy aside. If you haven't read this before or for a long time you need to head over to Genesis 37 and read to the end of the book. I'm about to tell you the end of the story, so stop reading if you don't want spoilers.
Still here? Good. Genesis 50 opens on a poignant scene. Joseph and his brothers are starting the process of mourning and burying their father, Jacob aka Israel. The first fourteen verses lay out the processional, services, and burial, but at verse fifteen it rewinds a bit:
15 When Joseph's brothers saw that their father was dead, they said, "What if Joseph bears a grudge against us and pays us back in full for all the wrong which we did to him!"
16 So they sent a message to Joseph, saying, "Your father charged before he died, saying,
17 'Thus you shall say to Joseph, "Please forgive (Heb. nasa, to lift, carry, take), I beg you, the transgression of your brothers and their sin, for they did you wrong.'" And now, please forgive (nasa) the transgression of the servants of the God of your father." And Joseph wept when they spoke to him.
Man talk about trying to cover you backside! Using your father's death to make sure your uber-influential brother doesn't call in a few favors is bold move, if by bold you mean completely self-centered and inappropriate. But I can understand where they're coming from. I feel the same tension every time I'm in my sister's presence and I think back to that conversation three years ago.
What I find even more amazing is Joseph's response:
18 Then his brothers also came and fell down before him and said, "Behold, we are your servants."
19 But Joseph said to them, "Do not be afraid, for am I in God's place?
20 As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive
21 So therefore, do not be afraid; I will provide for you and your little ones." So he comforted them and spoke kindly to them.
Honestly, that wrecks my life. There are times I'm the brothers and I fail to come clean. There's also times I'm in Joseph's shoes and fail to respond in the same way. I just lack perspective most of the time in all honesty. I lack the perspective to see that what God does through others' trespasses and the trespasses I impose on others can be good. I don't even have a good answer for what that good is in retrospect sometimes, but I know it's there.
I think to realize that you are in "God's place" is the hardest of all lessons to learn in that passage. We all have enough of a sense of justice to know when we're wronged and when we're wronging. But to see how you're exactly where God wants you at all times? Man, that's hard. There's a great parallel that runs in that passage, by the way. It's a throw back to the very beginning of the book. You know, the part where God laid everything (the universe, the earth, us) out and "saw that it was good?" He looks at our lives and sees that it's good because He's making it according to His will. He's laying the track, and we have the means to keep the engine running. We either fire it or we don't. We either progress or we stagnate. Whatever happens, He'll use it to make us who He wants us to be.
We forget that in the midst of our pain and shame He is working on a much bigger canvas than we can possibly imagine. Joseph saw that because of the sin brought against him, not in spite of it. I hope I can be more honest than the brothers, and see as clearly as Joseph did.
Another great post.
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